After a very successful rabbit eradication programme, Eden Valley grapegrowers, enjoyed a relative time of tranquillity.

Instead of sitting on the verandah shooting rabbits, setting traps and making souvenir lucky rabbit feet for the superstitious, the local lads could chew the fat, enjoy a beer and reminisce about how they couldn’t see the grass for the rabbits.

But one angry rabbit survived the bloodshed and he wanted revenge. Suffering from Crazy Eye, or Pink Eye as it is also known, the angry rabbit was on the hop, living off the land and looking for revenge. Grapegrower Trevor March was in his cross hares (pun intended thankyou very much). However, Trev had mellowed in his old age and instead of offering the angry rabbit a diet of lead ball bearings, Trev placated the angry rabbit by feeding it a ham and cheese toasty one day, a tomato and cheese toasty the next.

The rabbit soon became addicted to Trev’s toasty fetish and he would turn up for his toasty fix. However, one day Trev came out with a toasty to find a dying angry rabbit. “I’m dying Trev, I’m dying,” cried the rabbit.

“What’s wrong Rabbit? What are you dying from?” Trevor asked.

“I’m dyin’ Trev. I’m dyin’. I’m dyin’.” And with a final gasp, the angry rabbit expired.

That night Trev made a rabbit stew (and four lucky rabbits’ feet for the superstitious) and enjoyed a glass of his Shiraz Cabernet, which was yet to be named. He enjoyed his meal and his wine and he made a toast.

“To the angry rabbit, who died of mixing-me-toasties*.”

*  Myxo-ma-tosis is a disease of rabbits caused by the myxoma virus introduced into Australia in 1950 from Uruguay to control their numbers.